The more I fly, the more weird shit happens to me. On a recent flight to Paris, I ended up having to play dad to unaccompanied 7 year old twin boys for 10 hours. On my flight from Germany to Miami, I had to listen to a poor girl spill her guts to me about how she caught her husband cheating on her, as well as him giving her HPV (new seat please!). Not to mention my mounting flying anxiety that is only being quelled with increasing amounts of alcohol (I think a road trip might be in my future).

Well, keeping up with my bizarre flight experiences, I added a new one last week when I flew from Philly to Miami. All seemed normal at boarding. I found my seat, sat down, and even lucked out with having a cute Asian girl next to me. I started talking her up when we both began to hear something crying loudly. We ignored it for a while until everyone started looking over at the chair next to us. The screaming was no child but a very disgruntled cat that literally did not stop yelling the whole damn flight. Listen to this poor thing:

After talking a bit more with my Asian princess, she told  me that she had actually been downgraded from first class. I had never heard of that before, but she said they bumped her up in the first place to be next to her friend in clase primero, but the seat belt was broken so they sent her back to coach with the rest of us peasants.

To make up for it, they dumped more snacks and champagne than her little petite Vietnamese frame could ever handle, and that’s where I came in. We ate and drank the rest of the flight allll the way back to Miami – flying anxiety subdued by booze, beauty and food. I might have to try that remedy more often.

Airplane Food
First Class Treatment in Coach


 Have you had any ridiculous flying experiences recently?